Story Thirty-Four
That time the door hit Tucker Carlson’s ass on the way out.
Tuck, honey, you fucked up. Even Taylor Swift gave Joe Alwyn a grace period. Fox just kicked you out with less ceremony than Bill O’Reilly.
I think it’s probably that you don’t know any GOOD lawyers. See, I know quite a few good lawyers and now my parroted advice to anyone is NEVER TEXT WORDS TO ANOTHER HUMAN. Ever.
You texted it, my dude.
And we alllllll saw.
We won’t miss your stupid buttmunch of a face and waiting for your asinine list of dumb hypothetical questions to end. Bye.
Hello, beloveds! It’s me, Sav, your friendly neighborhood queer editor. My little family is struggling financially this year. Here’s how you can help: PayPal, Venmo, and subscribe to my Substack here.